All posts by manay21

Shit, I am another jackass starting a blog…

Hello,  I am also wondering if I am just another jackass starting a blog..but what the hell!  To begin,  I am 33 ( sigh) and divorced (gulp).  How did I get here and where the hell am I going?  This is a blog about starting over, falling down and getting right back up.  Discovering how to use my past as lessons to propel my future and discover a little more self love and acceptance along the way.   I always thought my thirties would be so content and laid out after the debacle that was my twenties.  My twenties consisted of a lot of success and also a lot of wrong turns, piercings and some wild behavior that someday will bring a twinkle to my eye as I share stories with my nieces and nephews.  Yes, I will be that cool aunt Megs!  Ok, back to being a thirty something and life is not at all what I thought it was going to look like.  Starting over is HARD; both financially and emotionally.  You never prepare for this..so where do you begin?

Let me start with the stigma of DIVORCE.  The shame, guilt, sense of failure, fear of the unknown. ( I will spare the details of my short marriage for a later reflective entry on lessons learned.) However, I found it very hard to tell people that I was divorced.  I felt like it was this dirty little secret. I especially worried about telling someone I was interested on going out on a date with.  When do you tell someone else?  I had a lot of anxiety about this.  However, I found that most people don’t care.  It is like disclosing to someone that you had a mullet for way too long growing up.  (They don’t care…but it’s not something to be proud of)  I adopted the attitude of ” It’s part of my journey, take it or leave it. ”

I will close this first post with a word on dating.  SCARY!  I felt like I had forgotten how to date and get to know someone again.  In marriage, two people get so comfortable with another person that there are almost no boundaries.  Fast forward to  being on a date and having to remind myself that this person probably would not appreciate me telling him about an awesome poop story; (which btw is hilarious.)….but filter Meg!!  Starting over is possible for all of us!  This year has been about pushing myself farther than I ever have and discovering new parts of myself and being vulnerable.  As my good friend and yogi Michael says during his classes..”It’s time to breathe and begin again”.  Below are some pics from the journey so far.

Meg

Qualifying for the Boston Marathon this year.
Qualifying for the Boston Marathon this year.
Summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro with my dad this spring.  Incredible.
Summiting Mt. Kilimanjaro with my dad this spring. Incredible.
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